Can we really put ourselves
in others people’s shoes? The simple
answer is no we can’t. To keep it simple
then what are the implications of this as it relates to human relationships at
home and in the workplace?
Implication 1 – We cannot really put ourselves in the others
shoes, really
We are told to “put ourselves in the others shoes” so we can
really feel their feelings. The issue is that their shoes are not ours.
We are all unique and as much as we try, we really cannot feel what the other
person feels because we are not the other person. We can try to force the
other person to our perspective when we are frustrated and is that really
fair. No, it is not.
Implication 2 – Ask open questions and listen without judging
This reality is so profoundly simple that it is easy to miss how
powerful it really is. If we really want to help others understand
themselves better (and us in the process) we need to hear and feel their
stories and not judge. We cannot force people to look through our lenses
as they are different and each person handles things in different ways. We can ask and listen for better understanding and to be happy.
Implication 3 – Their world is their world and we need more real
compassion
To really get to a point where you are okay with others not
being you is really difficult. “I would have done that” or "you
should have done that” are often what comes out of our mouths. To have
compassion is to really understand that we cannot feel what they feel and be
okay with letting them feel this way.
Compassion is a great value to have at home and at work. Think about the great implications that living
this value would have on the quality of our home and work relationships.
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